apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
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