At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
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