Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Im part way to drunk.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
