Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
