ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Randomize
