You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
