I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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