oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
