Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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