is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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