Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Randomize
