So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
