Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
