pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
my sisters under your porch take her home
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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