what if every blade of grass was a penis?
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
You're like the curious george of whores
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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