i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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