capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
