If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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