I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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