wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
We were destined to go to rehab together
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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