I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
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