that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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