Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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