Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
