is wine microwaveable?
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
She bit a glass in half.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
