Who wears a wallet chain?!
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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