He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Randomize
