If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
