windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
