Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
