We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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