im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I will pee on everything he values.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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