I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
