I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Threesome in a minivan. New low
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
