Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
