i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
