i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
