chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
My feet surprised me
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
