I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Who died my cat blue again?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
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