One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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