so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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