I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
