where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
