I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
