you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
