Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
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