So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
