Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
