she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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