he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
