your room smells of hookers.
And success
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
